Che Nah's 2016 Family Day!

As much as I am missing my clan, I can't deny that I am blessed with a wonderful family from my husband's side :) 

Rindu rumah Atok sangat, mujur Allah bagi peluang merasa kembali kenangan manis tidur di rumah kampung di Desa Balqis, Linggi Melaka.

I am glad that my babies get along well with their makciks and pakciks LOL!

*true story*

Sarah was the family's first cucu, hence everyone else yang kecik-mecik tu naik pangkat makcik dan pakcik tanpa rela hahahahahahaha

Suka sungguh depa dapat main lari-lari, ghomah kayu luas la katakan...

Bergegau dibuatnya hehe...

Itu semua aku dah lalui dulu, sayang sungguh rasanya bila zaman depa ni dah takdak dah lagu tu...

 But then again, it's not where you are. It's who you are with :)

 Prepping for Carik Gula Dalam Tepung

Among the games that we played: 

Berita Tiga Kepala, Sambung Cerita, Kerusi Beracun, Makin Jauh Makin Sayang and of course... Terompah Gergasi. Kakak Sarah was killing it! Tak penah lagi aku nampak dia begitu all-in participating. She's a shy girl, you know? But hari tu, si Hannan yang nampak a bit down.

 

But, nampak Minnie Mouse terjun tu? 

Tu dia la tu... hantu ayor ibu :)

All in all, it was a quick yet satisfying gateway for everyone.

Semoga waghih Tok Dan pun dapat kumpul lagi, lama dah tak jumpa sesama-sendiri... or is it just me? Hmmm....

AidilAdha 2016

One for the album! :)

Good company. Good times.

 

When we were studying, we have all the time in the world.

To just be ourselves, to only think of ourselves.

To enjoy time with friends.

To enjoy life without stress.

But, then we graduated.

Got a job. Got married.

And little babies coming along the way.

Time is no longer ours.

A bit of us got lost juggling time between everything.

There is no excuse, actually.

To deny everyone.

Who wanted to reconnect.

To push away people.

Who wanted to continue the flow.

Damaged happened.

But, its OK.

You learned and grow from it.

Because we are friends forever.

In this life. Insyaallah until the hereafter.

You are one of those friends that I cherished.

Hoping that we'll be able to just continue where we left.

Despite not being there for each other like we used to.

Thank you.

I'll see you soon.

:)

RAKA

September 3, 2016 

 

 

Inspired!

Joined the conference, expecting to learn new knowledge.
But Allah gave me more. Allah led me to you :)

The last time we met, was almost 8 years ago, when both of us went to Merbuk for a teaching interview. You got in, but I don't. 

Despite being the one who told you about the interview and drove you there. 

Bapak aku frust gila hahaha

It's just not meant for me cause my rezqi is in PD insyaallah :)

Remembering my study years back in IIU, this little fighter is my roommate, my study buddy, my jalan-makan-wayang friend. She sticks to me like a lollypop to its cover, slightly annoying (hihi) but I'm vulnerable without her.

But, when I met her yesterday and 

listening to her presenting her paper, I am proud! 

Watching her in front, looking so confident,

 she was no longer the Phyd that I knew.

She's Phyd 2.0. 

Physically better, ntah kenapa nampak taller and obviously glowing with confidence!

I am again very jealous of her.

But hey, good type of jealous though :)

 

Both IIU BENL alumni.

You have made your alma mater proud!

We love Melaka!

Walaupun Melaka is our 2nd home, taip bulan balik Melaka pun mesti nak fefeeling pelancong weh!

The girls love their museums, and I love to jalan-jalan so off we go venturing to other sides of Melaka that the girls have not been exposed yet!

I've been on this Taming Sari for the third time. Every trip is better than the one before, since the kids are now more appreciating of the views from the top. 

Please excuse my Hannan's cartoon expression.

I believed she got it from her momma (--")

We got out from home a bit late, so most museums are already closed by 5. So, after the Taming Sari ride, we just simply walked around and having our ice-cream at the center of Banda Hilir.  And now, please excuse the husband and his signature pose. Geng Gagak Hitam - katanya :P

Teruja nak beli air tembikai ni bila nampak several tourist dok sakan beli.

Tak sedap and banyak biji, we ended up spitting out the beans more than drinking - macam dah bulih tanam tembikai dah sepanjang jalan >_<

And that's all for the day. 

Next time, Jonker Walk! *yeah*

My 1st allergy respiratory attack

 

Baru kau tahu langit tinggi rendah.

Baru kau tahu hargai setiap hirup udara indah.

Mujur Allah masih sayang.

Dan banyak dosa, masih bagi peluang...

His first time to CH :)

If I was asked to summarise the trip into one word, I would say: 

Beautiful!

We were blessed with a very bright day when we started our trip up the hill. 

It got even more exciting when we reached the top, pulling down the window and breathing in the awesome cool breeze Mashaallah!

Our first activity of the day was having tea at the lovely Bharat Tea Plantation.

 

 

My pretty babies enjoying their teas *awwww*

We were so happy, rasa nak buat video clip Hindustan saja main lari-lari hehe

 Masing-masing so jakun, so makngah made her attempt to photobomb but it was a very funny candid moment thanks makngah! :P

I'm sure that the one at Boh's is better (and pricey-er, maybe) but we had fun nonetheless!

Next stop, the Cameron Lavender! 

 

So cantik! It brought out the feminine in me LOL!

And of course, one for the album :)

Checking in Rossa Passadena
The last time I was here was back in 1994. I was just 10 years old! 

Bought dinner from the pasar malam nearby. I would recommend this hotel due to its convenient location but you really have to be patient with its parking-- always full!

  

  Woke up early for this!
And because husband ran in the Copthorne's 2016 Fun Run!

 

 *so jealous*
The run started at 7:30am. The first one arrived finished the run in exactly one hour!
Memang sungguh-sungguh lari takdak beghenti beli strawberry tu wehh *hihi*
Husband arrived after 2 hours, and I could not have been prouder!
*kisskiss*

We singgah the famous Kea Market on our way back, but no pics though. Bcos tangan all so busy carrying sayo, pokok, strawberrys and flowers oh syioknye dok ataih!

Makngah, cum tour guide, demanded that we drop by Avant Choc Restaurant & Factory.

Ya Allah best-cantik-betul tempatnya!

 

Strawberry Heaven!

Straight from the menu! And they tasted good too!

Can you guess which one is mine? ;)

We were so happy, husband even willing to pose in public like this for me!

Well, happy husband means we will be coming back to CH soon yeayyy!!!

... rindulah!

Annual Gathering - Poeh is back 2016!

Kali ni punya gathering was a bit of a rush.

They opted to do the gath in KL, at the very posh but not-children-friendly Regalia Residence.

No regret though, cos look at the view of the KL skyline!

Dapat jugak merasa *wink*

I kinda regretting not staying over, but turns out Poeh pon balik terus the next day. Her babies were  not well, kesian tengok...

But we had our fun!

  

One with the kids. Minus the orang putehs. 

Dan aku, haruslah menjadi yang pelik kan?

Rindu sudah... oh!

Syawal is here!

There are many reasons to celebrate Syawal.
Apart from its some what an obligation to celebrate our victory after 30 days of fasting during Ramadhan, Syawal is also the month of making amends with family and friends and tightening relationships.

 

#teambalikkampungPerak

 Abah & Ummi is back from their 1-month's umrah!

 

 Tok Dan's legacy minus our family since we got stuck at Chikuslovia.

*A bit disappointed for not having any selfie moments with the cousins on my father's side.*

 Introducing Baby Hani & the funny Fayyad!

 The girls with their 2 kepupu - as said by Hannan *lol*

 Reunited with a friend from 22 years back!

... and reconnecting with my high schoolers!

Seronok anak-anak main ramai-ramai! :)

Not to forget, the fireworks show courtesy of our neighbour :)

I lost 2 kg during Ramadhan, and gain back 1 kg right after 2nd raya. Nak buat macamana, tak makan kang ghugi kihkihkih...

All and all, the long holiday has ended. We reluctantly went back to reality, however did not manage to cope with the so called 'jetlagged' that we were having since arrival.

Ate, dikampung mangkit lambat tidoq pon lewat. Laa ni, nak mangkit awai pun berlawan mata nak tidoq malam pon dah jadik satu kheja. Fuh... malasnya nak pi kheja!

 

One for the album. 

Ciao!

Penasaran.

Genap satu tahun,

saat mula terpercik rasa

Walaupun sudah lama, 

getar hati masih ada.

Kita rancang,

mungkin tidak menjadi.

Harap ku cuma biarpun rancang,

ianya benar-benar jadi.

Bukan sekadar manis dibibir.

Bukan sekadar manis dipandang.

Tetapi manis sehingga mendatang...

Incomplete without You!

I was never a big fan of BSB.
I am more into NYSC & 5ive *fangirl mode*

However, youtube suddenly auto-played this while I was listening to the 90's playlist.
... and I'm in love!

thinking of you, love :*

"Incomplete"

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone

Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I'd try to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I'd try to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

Iftar Ramadhan 1437 H

Berasak-asak. Orang ramai

Berhimpit-himpit. Meja penuh

Berlari-lari. Kejar anak.

Bersepah-sepah. Makan tak sudah

... tapi alhamdulillah. 

Cukup berkumpul semuanya *senyum*

Inilah team kerja saya.

Team asek makan-minum-gelak sesaje.

Tapi time kerja, kena marah juga *haha*

Terima kasih ya Allah atas nikmat berbuka & berpuasa.

Semoga masih ada rezeki untuk bersama-sama menambah pahala ditahun yang mendatang.

Semoga tahun 2017 masih diberi peluang untuk bersama.

Insyaallah

Demi sesuap rezeki...

CERITA SATU:

Jalan-jalan hujung minggu.
Jumpa Ezad Exist tengah buat show atas pentas.

"Eleh, dia miming lettew. Takkan laa bulan2 posa ni nak nyanyi live lama-lama, mesti dahaga punya..." kemain menggosip laki aku.

Elok solat maghrib, baru sibuk cari tempat makan berbuka.
Terserempak dengan kawan lama-tak-jumpa.

"Lepas ni nak balik Tganu dah. Jumpa minggu depan pulak..." terang isteri kawan ke aku.

"Jadi ke nak mintak tukar Pahang? Dekat sikit dengan Tganu kan?" tanya aku si penyibuk.

"Dah kansel dah permohonan. Stay sini jelah. Tunggu jelaa si dia balik tiap minggu..." balas isteri kawan lagi.

Aku terdiam. Tergamam actually.

Laki aku balik keje lambat pon aku dah tak tenang.
Ini pulak kalau jumpa hujung minggu saje.

Kuat betul iman ilmu tawakal korang weh!


CERITA DUA:

Balik dari jalan-jalan dah malam.
Sudah anak-anak dan abah depa tido, aku tak boleh tido.
Bukak tivi.
Takdak cerita best.

Terbukak Meletop Kebabom! Live.
Tertengok.
Ternampak Ezat Exist lagi.
Dengan baju yang sama.

Tu diaaa....
petang tadi kat selatan, lewat malam kat KL tak balik ghomah laei.

Semuanya demi sesuap rezeki.

Suami isteri jauh.
Demi sesuap rezeki.

Suami bekerja sehingga lewat malam.
Demi sesuap rezeki.

Semoga Allah berkati semua usaha kita.
Semoga Allah limpahi berkat dalam kehidupan seharian kita.
Insyaallah :)

Busy weekend before Ramadhan...

My husband is so sweet!

After my ntahpape tantrum of not having the chance to join in the crowd at Mood Republik last week, he actually proposed for us to spend our Saturday at BBB wohooo!

Memang la dia takat bawak saja and takdak guna duit dia pon pi shopping sana but still... the idea of having him during the weekends is so rewarding! Alhamdulilah :)

The thing is, aku pun tak tahu sejak bila ntah aku jadik shopaholic ni. Syukur trip kali ni worth it! Sebab ini yang kali ke-dua, and dah tahu nak aim masuk kedai yang mana huhu...

And on Sunday, jalan-jalan dalam kawasan saja amboi-banyak-duit-kau-nak-pergi-ikea-pulak haaa.

Guess what? Akhirnya berjaya mendaftar sebagai penderma darah untuk pertama kalinya!!

So very proud of myself!

Walaupun pening2 macam dah mengantuk sangat pon ade huhu

And since hari masih muda, pergi laa spend the evening at S2 Park. Dapat laa budak2 tu main bubbles, bagi ikan makan...

...dan dah alang-alang nak masuk Maghrib, gi laa solat kat masjid puteh S2 yang sangat cantik itu!

... dan dah alang-alang esok dah 1 Ramadhan, kita teraweh terus jelaa haaa...

I love this masjid so much!

The ambience, lighting, facilities... memang terbaik! 

Seronok dapat solat kat masjid yag cantik dan sejuk tapi tak ramai orang... budak-budak pon selesa nak lari main tanpa aku perlu risau...

 See? The kids love it too! Seronok jumpa kawan baru!

But I said it too soon.

Slightly before Isya', crowds started to fill in. And the kids were forced to play outside the praying area. Which of course, is not fine by me!

Macamana mak nak solat tanpa hati rasa gelisah bila budak jauh ke belakang nun haaa...

So, I ended up babysitting the children that night.

 Biasalah ni. Kakak Sarah the Nerd, Hannan the Class Clown *hehe*

I salute the parents yang memang hati besi berani biarkan saja anak depa main sendiri without supervision. Kalau aku, memang tak laa.

...lagi-lagi bila dah baca kes budak ke culik kat masjid kat Tumpat tu. And this not the first time I read such stories... (>_<")

Semoga selamatlah semuanya!

Semoga semua ibadah kita di bulan Ramadhan ini diterima Allah. *ameeen*

My 1st colloquium :)

Just got back from my 1st colloquium!!! *insert fireworks*

Hye Dr. Bob! *waving frantically*

What an awesome day! Got ushered to the venue, fefeeling very the VIP uols!

Not only its F.R.E.E, they even gave out stationary for note-taking, nice tea breaks and delicious lunch too!

And while queuing for the buffet, cannot help but overhearing chatters from behind...

"Yang ramai-ramai ni siapa? Bukan students, bukan presenters, kan?"

"Nolah. They olls semua lecturers from other uni. Free laa katekan..." 

They even giggled, okey?

And they continued a bit more...

"I kalau ikutkan malas nak join tau? Dah la workshop pon kena join..."

Pehhhhh eksyen nye kau!

Kami sedar, kami terhegeh-hegeh join sebab its free. Tapi kami juga sedar, yang kami tak boleh memilih. Dapat pi yang ni pon dah habeh bangga dapat pasal buat kat luar kampus pehhhhh

Everything we heard today was so alien, we don't even dare to ask a single question! Words like mooc, gamification, pikunui are very basic vocabs to them!

 The very IT savvy Prof. Supyan Hussin

 The very cool Prof. Rozhan

The Managing Director of Pikunui Malaysia, Mr. Vincent Stocker

Aku betul-betul cemburu!

But at the same time, I am also glad that we had been given the chance to experience and learn new things today. 

Tazabar nak try it out once back in office!

Alamak. Esok all day Sports Day pulak.

Alhamdulillah. Semoga tidak kufur nikmat :)

Till then.

Love, me. 

*ending nak comel mcm Love, Vivy tapi tak jadi*

Nak mengadu.

Mula-mula suami tak balik rumah.
Kena kerja malam. Turn dia masuk keja.
Seminggu melayan anak sendiri.

Penat. 
Tapi, ada orang yang tak merasa lagi bahagia bersama anak-anak.
Syukur alhamdulillah.

Lepas tu anak ditimpa demam.
Platlet turun. Saspek denggi.
Siap warded lagi.

Penat.
Tapi, dapat masuk hospital swasta.
Layanan tiptop. Suami ada teman sentiasa.
Syukur alhamdulillah.

Lepas tu anak yang lagi satu pulak demam tetiba.
Tak lalu makan, muntah-muntah. 
Jumpa doktor, tonsil bengkak katanya.
Suami kembali sibuk tak balik malam kena keja.

Penat.
Tapi, lepas makan ubat dia kembali ceria. Kembali segar, kembali bertenaga.
Alhamdulillah. Syukur alhamdulillah.

Elok tak demam, hidung berdarah pula.
Hidung selesema. Badan kena gegata.
Ya Allah, penatnyaaaa!

Insyaallah, tuhan bagi cuti 3 hari sampai Isnin.
Mudahan emosi kuat, nak layan semua.
Sehat2lah semuanya ameeen!

Confused.

Alhamdulillah, I am blessed with a good life.
Yesteryears, at the moment and insyaallah in the future.

But there will always be time when I will not feel happy with myself.

***
My weekdays now are routines. Even weekends.
Routines that I know important to make sure everything goes well.

Routines, however, sometimes make me feel so dry.

I wanted to break away from the routine. But I can't. I won't.
Because I am afraid to disrupt the cycle that I myself build.

***
I no longer know myself.
Sigh.

***

Googled "How to make myself feel good about myself".
It has even come to that. Desperation. Sure?

***
Tried retail therapy.
It didn't last long.
In need of something else. New. Better. Fresh.

***
Putting people's priority before self bringing me down.
Isn't that the purpose of being a mother? A wife? A teacher?

***
Hope to recover soon.
Amen. 

Hello 2016!

My auntie called. Asking for some money.

Nothing new actually.

It's just that today was the first day she actually asked money directly from me.

-------------------------
For the past 3 years or more, I've actually been donating  money to her. Without her knowing of course. Because RM100 monthly is never enough for them whole family. I know that. But I myself did not earn much. Enough to be happy. Enough to share some without others.

It all started at first as a way for me to help ease my mom's burden. She has been lending money to her only sister since forever. So I might as well chip in as much as I can afford.

But when she called and ask the favour directly, something inside me did not feel good.

It is probably the setan trying to avoid me for helping out.

But being a normal human being, I have my hesitations.

With a balance of RM150 in my account, I transferred her RM100 with quite a heavy heart.

Hoping that Allah will give me back more. Praying that the RM50 will last till my paycheck arrive. Wishing that I did not feel this bad because I know she needs it more than me.

I have no problem talking openly about my good deed to others since I know no one reads my blog anymore. So, this is just me trying to talk things out.

Hello January 2016!

May we all be better than last year in health and in love, with colleagues and with families, despite this big financial and political challenge we are facing today. Insyaallah :)

November 2015

It is now November.

Sat ja, kan?

Baru ja dok meroyan new year resolution, udah nak akhir tahun.

Alhamdulillah. Allah panjangkan umur.
Alhamdulillah. Allah murahkan rezeki.
Alhamdulillah. Allah limpahkan rahmat bahagia bersama keluarga tersayang.

Dan alhamdulillah, bulan ini aku genap 31 tahun.

Tapi entah kenapa, I suddenly reminiscing my times with arwah Opah.

Both my Opah.

Opah Yon,
Tak banyak yang aku ingat pasal dia.
Pasal she left when I was 8 years old.
But her kindness and love somehow sticks in my mind.

I  kinda remember being the most she loved in the house, the one she always carry in her arms.

It is a really nice feeling, knowing you are loved. You know?

And Opah Rafidah.
Who always smile when I am around.

I am glad she's able to see Sarah before she eventually left us due to her ill-health.

Ayong sayaaaang Opah...

Self- Reflect 101

Ntah macamana, tetiba dok sembang pasal maksud nama anak dalam pejabat tadi.

Jenuh laa ustazah tu dok menjawab satu-satu.

Ada yang tanya, "Betul ke nama Balqis tu tak boleh bubuh? Sebab nama tu dikaitkan dengan jin? Pasal hakak punya anak sedara namanya Balqis boleh nampak jin wehhh..."

By the way, bukan aku hakak tu ye??

Dipendekkan cerita, ustazah tu menceritakan kisah Ratu Balqis dan Nabi Sulaiman. Untuk membuktikan yang nama Balqis tiada kaitan dengan perihal jin dan makhluk halus yang lain.

Yang lain-lain semua senyappp je tekun mendengar.

Aku bisik tanya kat Dee, 
"Aku tanye ko jangan mara, tapi ko tak tahu ke cerita ni?"

"Kite tahulah nama Balqis tu tapi kite tak tahu pulak dia Ratu Balqis, kerajaan sembah matahari semua tu..."

Dan aku ade sedikit terkejut.

Pasaipa depa tak tahu?
Dan kenapa pulak aku tahu?
Aku bukan ustajah pun aku tahu???

And then it gets me.
Ini semua hasil dari didikan dan tarbiah sejak dari sekolah rendah laei.

Ibu ayah daftar aku ke KPIP habes sekolah pagi dulu.
Seronok zaman2 naik van tu. Tertinggal van lepas tu selamba pawer pi jalan kaki sendiri ke sekolah agama rakyat. Lejen betul aku waktu tu.

Sekolah menengah masuk MUC pulak.
Dan dalam-dalam maleh aku tu, ade jugak laa ilmu yang berkat hasil tarbiah khemah ibadah, usrah halaqah bagai...

Habeh sekolah, masuk IIU.
And that seals the deal.

Syukur ya Allah.
Walaupun aku bukan ustazah, tapi aku tahu semua yang sepatutnya aku tahu.

Kisah-kisah nabi.
Perbalahan antara mazhab.
Pendek kata, aku ni serba tahu gak la.
Walaupun bukan ustazah.

Tapi, nak bangga sangat pon toksey.

Pasal walaupun serba tahu, serba banyak juga dosanya.

Walau dah tahu salah, membuat jua.

Walaupun dah tahu rugi solat lewat, tak serik2 juga.

Itu belum masuk hal kawalan amarah dan tanggungjawab kepada suami dan anak-anak.

Perlu terus mencari ilmu.
Perlu terus belajar.

Sebab yang serba tahu pun malu nak mengaku.
Kau yang kononnya tahu pulak yang berlagak tak reti malu.