Bukit Batu Putih - checked!

Tanjung Tuan, Port Dickson-Melaka. 

* * * * * 

Kena datang lagi dengan the whole (family) crew!

Bukit Sawa - checked!

 January 10, 2018 - Kampung Peradong, Kuala Kelawang, Jelebu.

 * * * * * 

Semacam tak percaya. 

Tapi ianya berlaku jua.

Macam-macam halangan.

Takde kawan laa. Takde siapa nak saing dari PD laa. Takut laa. 

Yang paling best,

dah sampai meeting point boleh pulak aku perasan yang kasut tertinggal kat rumah! (-_-")

Guide siap perli aku,

"Kalau tersadung, pandai2 laa bangkit ye?"

Tapi sebab Allah sayang, 

I was among the first 3 yang sampai atas!

Walaupun terlepas awan karpet, but the view was still stunning nonetheless!

Hilang penat yang aku dok meroyan dari mula hike bila sampai atas! 

Hiking was not part of my new year resolution. 

But I vow to try my hands on living healthier, dan tak sangka Bukit Sawa was my first chance to prove to myself that I can still do it. I still have it! 

Looking forward for more! Bring it ON! ;)

So, how was your first day at school?

"Boleh laaa..." (>_<)

 

Alhamdulillah, he survived his first day at the nursery! But it's more like the mother who's on trial though. *haha*
Yelah, he's been with me since day 1. I'm not saying that his sisters were not, tapi dulu we can afford to 'borrow' my mom's helper. So, memang rase senang sangat jaga anak, rupanya haaa... baru kau tahu!

Mana nak masak, nak mandi, nak rest pun dok teringat-ingat terngiang-ngiang suara nangeh dia aduh!

I'm going to resume working next week. Hoping that everything goes well, despite being left alone with the kids while their father's off to China for a week!

Pray for my sanity.

Three three :)

Selamat Hari Lahir kekasih hati

My chill pill, My serenity

Tanpa mu jiwa ini gusar sendiri

Bersamamu diri ini kuat mandiri

Terima kasih atas lamaran

Terima kasih kerana memulakan

Kerana jika kamu tidak mahu

Mungkin aku tidak kenal erti cinta yang sebegini syahdu

Terima kasih Allah.

Jangan putus limpahan rahmat-Mu  pada ku.

Reality

My belly after my 2nd c-sect day 48. 

Let this be a reminder to my husband, of what he had done to me. 

Of what I have given him. Of what we have acheive together as husband and wife. 

3 beautiful children. To raise and to love. 

Together. 

Let this be a reminder to my children, that this is the belly that they were once in. 

Which they grew in for 9 months. Scratch marks and all.

Despite the late nights, and uncountable cries. 

There’s nothing I would trade them for.

Let this be a reminder to me, that healing takes time.

And its OK to take our time. 

Slowly but surely. 

Insyaallah. 

Ameen. 

Kena tinggal lagi.

And now, dia dapat pegi China pulak.
OK fine, kena pegi China. Work trip.
Lucky him.

I can do this. I have to do this.

*googling overseas conferences to attend*

Awak suka saya tak? *wink*

Kemarin,
Kari Ikan Tenggiri. Sedap.

Semalam,
Ikan Singgang Tenggiri. Sedap jugak.

Hari ni,
Sup Daging with white noodle.

Amboi. Sakan nampak?
Itu pun sebab Umar layan tidoq and barang semua ada dirumah hehe

I'm kinda enjoying this role of staying-at-home mom.

OK, nak layan Iman jap. Bai!

Post Delivery Emo Entry 2

Day 32.

I went all raged towards the hubs just now.
OK. Takdelah marah sangat. Or is it?
The thing is, I'm not sure whether is it really him or I was actually angry with myself.

Both, I guess.

When I knew that I was pregnant, I was not at all happy nor am I sad.
Mixed feelings felt inside.

Yelah. It has been 6 six years. Both Sarah Hannan are all grown up. Dah senang dibela. Dah seronok dibuat kawan. Tidur nyenyak. Makan kenyang. Jalan selesa.

Tuptap mengandung balik. Morning sickness balik. Tapi kali ni lain macam pembawakannya.

Makan tak lalu. Tapi lapar.
Badan penat. Gassy tak tentu masa, tak tentu pasal.

And when its finally time to deliver, sakit contraction sakit operation ya ampunnnn!
Ni even though a month after, perut ni still sakit rasa lebam didalam. Ntah sembuh ke idak dalam tuhan jelaa yang tahu.

Tapi, dalam-dalam aku belum sihat, masih dalam pantang, bulih lagi nak pi masuk lari laa, nak jogging la sebab tak lama lagi nak lari 21km...

Aku dah pesan lama dari sebelum beranak, that I need him to be with me, so no marathon running whatsoever before delivery until after confinement.

Ni dak, waktu 9 months pun ade lagi join lari. Takpe, alhamdulillah masih kuat dan takde beranak waktu dia join lari tu.

Ni pulak, right after my confinement, ade masuk HSN. So, kena laa prepare fizikal nak kena keluar jogging petang or whenever he can.

Masalah kat sini, aku tak habes pantang lagi. Memang laa nampak kuat dah bulih buat semua kerja-kerja rumah sendiri. Tapi, I need him. Physically and mentally there for me.

Kadang, rase macam aku pulak yang salah. Tak bagi dia keluar. Tak bagi dia jogging atau buat aktiviti dia macam biasa. Bukan dia yang pantang. Buat apa dia yang kena duduk merap kat rumah kan??

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I need to find something to indulge in after this. After confinement. After I'm healthy and fit enough.

Focusing too much on work and family is stressing me.

Amboi. Macam la ko tu perfect housewife sangat pfft!

That's not the point.

If the hubs has his maraton thingy, I would want to try and get back to my kayaking activities.
Contoh laa, contohhhh.

Habis, siapa nak jaga Umar?
Haih, bapak dia kan ada?

Reti ke bapak dia nak jaga?
Haih, bukan anak orang lain. Anak dia jugak kan?

This is not me trying to get back at him. OK, mungkin laa ade sikit.

But, I believe treating myself well will benefit the family as well.
Happy wife/mother will leads to happy life, kan?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love my husband and the kids. So much.
However, I need to love myself too. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This feeling might disperse once I'm back to work.
Almaklumlah, orang dah biasa koje. Tuptap kena dok ghomah ngadap anak saje.
Quite a turnover. Hormonal imbalance.

Blame it on everything but myself is easier, kan?
Hmmm.

Or probably I'm just hungry.
Yes, that might be it.

Post Delivery Emo Entry 1

At times,
I felt so helpless.

Like now. During my confinement period.

Dah la ibu takde, tak balik laei dari hajj. Adik-adik pula busy, weekend baru masing-masing dapat balik and hands-on with the baby.

And not long after week 2 of confinement, dah ikut the husband and kids balik rumah. Since kalau stay pun takde sape dapat jaga. And my mom, even though will be coming back soon, is not in good health coughing and all-- takkan nak susahkan ibu pulak kan?

Sedih sungguh rasanya dihati.
Macam takde sape yang sayang. Macam dah takde yang amek peduli. Sobs.

Sungguh tak bersyukur aku ni.

The hubs spent 10k for Umar's delivery. Just so that a female doc could attend to me. And we have a private room so that the whole family could stay with me in the ward. He even paid for a confinement lady service--- sehari 125 tau?

He also applied for a 2-weeks leave--- just to make sure I'm well taken care of.

Kau nak meghoyan apa lagi pompuan??

Tapi yelah. Dah nama pun pompuan. Baru lepas beranak pulak tu. Hormon hilang kestabilan. Pulak perangai manja ya ampun kata rockers poyo je lebih huhu

Aku tak bulih dah nak compare dengan waktu berpantang Sarah Hannan dulu.

Itu rejeki awal dulu. Ibu dapat jaga bersungguh. Ade bibik laei bulih belekkan si anak sampai pinjam bawak balik la haa.

Sekarang, ujiannya berbeza untuk anak nombe tiga.

Allah uji sebab Dia tahu kami mampu. Dia tahu aku mampu. Dia tahu kami lebih kuat dari dahulu.

Semoga Allah teruskan limpahan rezeki sehat dan kuat padaku, supaya dapat aku jaga keluarga kecilku ini ameeen!

My 2rd Delivery Experience

It was 7:30 am when I first experience the consistent contractions.
Waktu tu tengah sidai kain. The kids and hubs baru je berlepas keluar dari rumah ke sekolah/tempat kerja. Sakit datang on/off, aku abaikan lagi since kadang-kadang memang ade rase sakit-sakit ngilu gitu sebelum ni.

Until 8 am, baru aku call the hubs and told him about the pain.

"So, kita nak kena pergi hospital dah ke?" he asked. 

He was still at the girls' school. Not yet at the office. But I said,

"Takyah lagi kot. Tunggu sikit lagi..."

When it's 8:30 am, I sensed something was wrong. Swap my vagy with a tissue, spotted a red blood spot on it. And so everything became so real from that time onwards.

Called husband to come back home. And in the meantime, I bathed-ate-clean around the house while the contractions was every 5 minutes. I even packed myself biscuits and apples-- just in case I'm hungry while waiting for labour. Pengalaman lalu mengajar ku, having a full stomach is important to make sure I have enough energy to push later.

Arrived at the hospital around 10:30 am. Still relaxed yet gripping on anything near when the contractions became more and more painful every 2-3 minutes. The midwife confirmed my contractions and I had dilated around 5 cm. 

Even so, they had this worried face on them. Something about "... saya dah check bukaan dia doktor, tapi takde rasa kepala."

Ah sudah. Anak aku patah balik pusing tak jadik nak keluar ke??

Dr Yang came at 11:45 am to confirm the nurses' worries. After she introduces herself, she, without hesitation, came forward and pushed me on the inside until my water broke. It turned out baby dah berak and his heart beat has gotten non-reactive so off I went for a c-sect.

It was quite hectic. Nurses pushing me in the bed-trolley, getting me to switch-slide onto the operation bed, the doctor yelled at the nurses for being inconsiderate while handling me (thank you Dr!)

I can't remember much about the surgery, cuma in the middle of the operation I felt someone holding my hand and I assume its my husband because I can't really tell with the drugs and all hahaha

Cuma what concerned me was, when husband told me that the doctor actually pull out my rahim and put on my stomach (to locate the fibroid) and actually put it back in woahhhh I think that's why my it felt so bad down there despite me having the experience of c-sect before.

Sebelum ni, I did have this guilty feeling of wanting to opt for a c-sect instead of a normal vaginal delivery. But now, after this gruesome experience, I don't even want to experience pregnancy again. Sakit lah! ;"(

Geng Abah is Here!

 He decided to be a Nismilan descendant, unlike his 08 sisters 

*hehe*

I looked like a messy witch, I know that!

But still, a picture with my boy on his Day 1 in this world.

Will blog about the delivery process soon.

Takit angat huuuuuuu (T_T)

We are 9!

The romantic side of you, 

         saya seorang saja yang tahu... 

 

I love you too sayang! 

Thank you for the suprise! 

Hari itu dalam sejarah

It was a plan that was unplanned *eheh*

 

 #doakan

#gengabahinsyaallah

#ameeen

First Day of School 2017

My god!
My eldest is now in primary school!

Compulsory photo op before 1st day of school! 

Macam tak percaya. Perkahwinan sudah masuk tahun ke - 9. Anak pula sudah bersekolah. Aku juga sudah menganjak tua umurnya. 

Mati pasti bila-bila. Ntah-ntah lepas ni saja. Mana cukup dengan amalan ibadah yang kejap-kejap alim kejap-kejap durjana.

Aduh.

Excuse my bahasa. Hormon  tak berapa nak betul sejak-menjak ni huhu

Xmas 2016

Sometimes, being stuck in the traffic jam is not really so bad.

Especially when you get to witness (hear) your husband's adorable antics (singing his heart out) while he thought everyone else had fall asleep.

Thank you Allah for this silly one ;)

November Vacay with the whole clan

Macam tak percaya 

Hello Mt Kinabalu! 

This pic was taken at around 5 am in the morning, Sabah local time. Kalau kita kat semenanjung ni, pukul 7:30 pagi pun dok gelap sakan laei huhu

The whole Ipoh clan went for the 4 days 3 nights trip to Sabah. 

Took the flight at 7:30 am, arrived around 10:00 am at KK Airport. 

Kami buat itinerary sendiri je, hasil research & google 5 months before the trip. Gigih tau! Ingat senang ke nak carik van, pikirkan penginapan blablabla

The van condition was decent, alhamdulillah value for money sangat! And we were so lucky that my hemsem husband could drive the stick! Thanks sayang ;-*

Upon arrival, we went for lunch at Suria Mall's food court and bought few things like beras, telur, mineral water and others. 

Then after Zuhur at around 12:30 pm, we started the drive to Kundasang. 

This was taken at 3:00 pm local time. Semacam tidak percaya it was cloudly and getting dark macam maghrib sudah... 

My sleepy Sarah ;)

We stayed at an airbnb owned by En Mohamad. It cost us RM400 / night tapi rumah spacious gila! 

The house could fit in almost 16 people per stay, and everyone will be comfortable with their own tilam, bantal & selimut each. Got dapur with basic cooking utensils, so memang dapat masak laa to save up money. 

Got mini stores down the road kot nak tambah cooking supplies. 

Us ladies, well it was ibu mostly, cooked simple dinner that night tapi tuh diaaa penangan malam tu sejuk angat2 telur dadar, sardin, fresh salad & sambal Che Nor laku keras sangat! Makan bertambah-tambah uols! 

It was a long trip, and everyone got tired after dinner and ready for an early day tomorrow. So ready to call it a night... 

Sampai laaa jadi kejadian si Hannan jatuh tangga and bled in between her legs! Only god knows what actually happened and we had to drive for 20 minutes to the nearest hospital which was situated at Ranau. 

I cried all the way to the hospital, blaming everyone for not looking out for the kids. I was at the washroom when it happened. But I knew it wasn't anyone's fault. It was just meant to be.

Cuma masalahnya, she hurts herself internally. Kalau kot luka terbukak ka, bengkak lutut ka tahu jugak laaa aku nak buh ubat macamana.

Ni bulih pulak jatuh kat celah kangkang, berdarah pulak aduh! 

Got to the hospital. Had to queue, of course. Tp alhamdulillah, while waiting she bleds no more. And was able to walk as usual. And even syukur when the doc didn't see anything wrong with it. I even asked the doc to perform an ultrasound, just to be sure. Syukur alhamdulillah... Allah Maha Menyembuh & Maha Mengasihani! 

Our first night at Kundasang ended with syukur alhamdulillah.

The next morning, I was the first one to wake up at 4:30 am. Mind you, it was already Subuh local time, and I insisted everyone else to stay up to witness the mother nature. Heck, that's the only reason I wanted to go to Kundasang! 

 Breakfast with a 5 star view

One with my baby & the view! 

Siap breakfast, we went to the famous Sabah's very own New Zealand! 

Sayang sangat tak nampak view, sebab November memang musim hujan. Tapi tak ralat sangat laa since dah dapat tengok awal pagi tadi heeee 

Seronok laa budak2 sekolah Sabah buat field trip ke NZ huhu

One with the siblings! 

Puas makan eskrem, minum fresh milk, bagi makan kambing & all, we continued the journey to Ranau to get to the fish spa. 

But, since its musim hujan and all, the spa was closed sebab air sungai naik. Hadoi, agak spoil gak laa sebab penat dok dalam van hahahaha

Then off we went to Poring's hot spring. 

Berangan nak masuk their canopy walk, but sampai lambat sebab lunch dulu semua so ended up bersantaian sahaja...

Weird! This was the only pic I took while we were there. Sedangkan pulun jugak laaa mandi dalam kolam depa habiskan sisa2 petang yang ada... 

We had our dinner at Restoren Putri Nabalu. Mahal! Tapi, sedap! And the place was a whole lot better compared to other kedai-kedai makan lain along the road, so takyah nak berkira bab makan sangat la kan? Hehe

That was our last night at Kundasang. 

Lepas dinner, terus turun KK semula. And experienced the normal humid and hot weather. Not like the windy & cool Kundasang weather...

Sampai di KK, tapi hati tertinggal di Kundasang lagi ;(

Our third morning in Sabah started with the trip to UMS, to their very own fish santuary ala ala aquaria la kiranya.

Masuk ade fees, tp sayang sangat macam tak terjaga. Bagus lagi Pusat Ikan Hiasan PD yang free tu huhu

Itinerary kat KK mmg free and easy je, so tak terpikir nak pegi their Cultural Village (must visit next trip!) and island hopping. 

I was not feeling well the whole day, even waktu depa dinner malam tu ber-seafood kat this one (kunun) famous restaurant kat Salut (or is it Selut?) I cannot digest even a bit, dapat muntah baru lega fuh... 

Our flight back was the next day. Walaupun masih belum fully recover, masih boleh buat sign 'peace' untuk tatapan peminat (--") 

Babai Sabah! Pasti akan datang lagi bah! See you very soon! 

Deepavali 2016 Roadtrip!

Last weekend, the whole Adenar clan went for our first roadtrip together to Terengganu Darul Iman. The actual plan was to join the in-law's school reunion, held by their former students. The eating & tourist-ing part were the second part of the trip hehe

Perjalanan bermula jam 4 pagi. Pehh mencabar betul nak tido dalam van especially bila kena dok belakang ni. Memang laa seat tu boleh dilanjutkan ke bawah laei, tapi yelah... dah tua2 ni nak dok selesa saja. Budak-budak pun sama, tak gheti nak tidoq duduk sebab dah biasa dapat baring masing-masing dalam gheta. Tapi nak tak nak, sakit belakang la kita sama-sama. But kakak Sarah managed to somehow baring jugak, although it meant that she took over parts of Auni's seat. Kesiannn si Auni nak melawan, meringkut macam dalam perut mak dia balik huhu

 

Budak-budak dok belakang 

*me included (--")*

Father & son

 

 Cousins for life!

We arrived at Kemaman around 11 am. Alhandulillah... Dah cerah ni, baru boleh menikmati perjalanan. Nampak the famous Kedai Kopi Hai Peng. Penuh orang wehhh... Dok bising-bising laa ajak depa singgah, lepaih tu mak mertua den tanya... 

"Halal ke? Bukan kedai cina ke??"

"Erk.."

Our homestay was awesome! Mampuih lupa nak amek gambo sebab awesome sangat! Despite located all the way in Terengganu, perabot dia... kitchen set dia semua IKEA wehhh... siap dryer yang mak paling suker wuuuuuu!! 

Lepas siap-siap, we went for otak-otak at Warung Otak-Otak Che Wan:

 

Aku dengan kerek aku sembang, 

"Otak-otak semua tempat bukan sama ke??"

Ikan seketui bak ang! 

Perapan dia pehhhh bak ang!!

Kami sampai waktu tu dah petang, tapi ghamai dia tuh dia sampai aku jegei mata kat customer yang dah habeh makan pon depa kemaruk takmoh mangkit dari meja depa lagi wehhh sakit ati aku wehh tapi bila dapat makan tu aku pon ikut sama buat tak gheti saja dok kat meja pasai tukar oder otak-otak lagi tak cukup 50 keping wehhhh  

So bila perut sudah kenyang, hati sudah senang, kita makan angin pantai pula...

 

 

We ended the day early, since malam tu nak kena join dinner abah ummi pulak.Tapi kami pemalaih punya pasai, pi makan saja lepaih tu balik tidoq. Penat sambut Deepavali kat Terengganu wehh hehe 

The next day was supposed to be free and easy. Berangan dah nak beli kepok dan strolling around Kemaman macam pelancong sakan. Tapi kita hanya mampu merancang. Dari nak ke Kuala Terengganu jadi tak jadi and stuck at Dungun lepaih tu mampu drove back home since masa tidak mengizinkan...

But, hello Temerloh!

All in all, despite the long journey and lack of fun-shopping-makan-time, alhamdulillah it ends well. I always thought that my family je yang kelam kelibut when it comes to family trip. Rupanya the husband's side pun sama saja. Which proves no family is perfect. It is just a matter of how you embrace the situation and accept that life will never be perfect. Adjust accordingly, do not take matters into heart and insyaallah all will be fine :)

Tapi, saya rindu awak lah! 

Lama sangat awak dok jadik driver kat depan, kita tak biasa kena tinggal kat belakang huhuuuu

This love of mine

 

Never my racun.

Always my kryptonite.

But please, don't be far away from my sight.

Happy 32. 

I will always love you.

To do or not to do it...

 

I'm not trying to do everything by the book. 

I'm just trying to be the best person I can be.

I can't pleased everyone, however I can try be just and be fair to all.

I might come across to you as 'terlampau ikut peraturan' and all but what's wrong with that?

What's wrong with abiding to the rules? 

What's wrong in trying to get 'rezqi yang berkat' from what I'm paid to do?

 Is it my fault that you chose not to do the things that you are supposed to do? 

And how am I supposed to be at fault if you chose not to do it just because you think you know best?

Tak buat salah, buat pun salah...

so how? 

Maybe it's time to ... yes?

Che Nah's 2016 Family Day!

As much as I am missing my clan, I can't deny that I am blessed with a wonderful family from my husband's side :) 

Rindu rumah Atok sangat, mujur Allah bagi peluang merasa kembali kenangan manis tidur di rumah kampung di Desa Balqis, Linggi Melaka.

I am glad that my babies get along well with their makciks and pakciks LOL!

*true story*

Sarah was the family's first cucu, hence everyone else yang kecik-mecik tu naik pangkat makcik dan pakcik tanpa rela hahahahahahaha

Suka sungguh depa dapat main lari-lari, ghomah kayu luas la katakan...

Bergegau dibuatnya hehe...

Itu semua aku dah lalui dulu, sayang sungguh rasanya bila zaman depa ni dah takdak dah lagu tu...

 But then again, it's not where you are. It's who you are with :)

 Prepping for Carik Gula Dalam Tepung

Among the games that we played: 

Berita Tiga Kepala, Sambung Cerita, Kerusi Beracun, Makin Jauh Makin Sayang and of course... Terompah Gergasi. Kakak Sarah was killing it! Tak penah lagi aku nampak dia begitu all-in participating. She's a shy girl, you know? But hari tu, si Hannan yang nampak a bit down.

 

But, nampak Minnie Mouse terjun tu? 

Tu dia la tu... hantu ayor ibu :)

All in all, it was a quick yet satisfying gateway for everyone.

Semoga waghih Tok Dan pun dapat kumpul lagi, lama dah tak jumpa sesama-sendiri... or is it just me? Hmmm....

AidilAdha 2016

One for the album! :)

Good company. Good times.

 

When we were studying, we have all the time in the world.

To just be ourselves, to only think of ourselves.

To enjoy time with friends.

To enjoy life without stress.

But, then we graduated.

Got a job. Got married.

And little babies coming along the way.

Time is no longer ours.

A bit of us got lost juggling time between everything.

There is no excuse, actually.

To deny everyone.

Who wanted to reconnect.

To push away people.

Who wanted to continue the flow.

Damaged happened.

But, its OK.

You learned and grow from it.

Because we are friends forever.

In this life. Insyaallah until the hereafter.

You are one of those friends that I cherished.

Hoping that we'll be able to just continue where we left.

Despite not being there for each other like we used to.

Thank you.

I'll see you soon.

:)

RAKA

September 3, 2016