VIPs

It has come to my attention, that the tiredness and sore-back that both me and husband have been experiencing was due to a non-stop, back-to-back every weekend programs since Aidilfitri holiday fuh!

And, Aidiladha is just around the corner again myGod!

Do not get us wrong, we love the holidays!
But, we miss lazying around the house, potato-couching, binge watching and attending to the needs around the house.

Last week, school gathering at Cheras.
This week, back to Ipoh.

Hoping that next week will be a relax on for us.
Ameeen!

And everyone in the best of health, double ameeeen!

Post Raya Gathering 2018

After much planning, akhirnya menjadi jugak gathering 2018. *fuh*

Penat sey! Aku kalau ikutkan memang dah lama pencen, dah takde daya nak jadik organiser lagi. Tapi bile ko dapat kawan yang memasing semua perasan macam depa saja yang sibuk, you ended up doing it on your own. Mujur masih ada yang hands-on, so takde la meroyan sorang.

So, as requested by some, kami jadik jugak buat mini tahlil @ doa selamat untuk Ustaz Wan dan Ustazah Wan Halimatun. 

 The prayer was lead by yours truly, my very own Imam Muda Mu'az hehe

I purposely do the mermaid pose for a more dramatic result

#inailedit

#ilooktaller

#orlonger

#iwin

I'm glad that the girls had fun. 

Weekend well spent!

But OHMYGOD penatnyelahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ten Ten Tennnnnnnnnnn *insert dramatic drumroll*

 

Us. 

10 years back.

10 kg lighter.

And, still looking forward to forever. 

Thank you Allah for this wonderful blessing in a form of a husband. 

May we be blessed in this life and in the hereafter.

Ameeeeen!

KSS - Kurang Kasih Sayang

 

I thought I was the special one. 

Rupanya ada 2 lecturer lain pun dia buat benda yang sama juga. 

Copy paste ayat yang sama jugak tu *hahahahahahahahaha* 

Semoga baik-baik sahajalah semuanya ameeen!

2nd time.

A mother's instinct is never wrong! 

But this time, doktor tak rekomen untuk Umar di-warded. Sebab dia looks very active and energise, despite bacaan kuman dalam darah went up to 19! 

Alhamdulillah, 

Sebab tak warded so boleh masuk kerja-balik kampung-berehat comfortably at home.

Alhamdulillah,

Umar tak susah makan ubat so insyaallah he'll be better in no time ameeen!

Tapi mashaallahhhhhhhhhh...

Dia bulih nangeh non-stop dari Somban sampai PD!

Elok masuk taman, pandei pulak dia sengap hai la anak!

Semoga berterusanlah dikurniakan Tuah dan Sehat selalu ameeen!

Sejuk.

Husband bought back few durians and rambutans for the family :)

Lepas siap masak dinner, terus duduk bersila kopek rambutan masuk bekas nak simpan dalam peti.

Dulu, bila ibu kopek rambutan simpan dalam peti, tak dan sehari terus abes. Manja memasing. Kalau tak berkopek rambutan tu, sampai ke sudah tak ber-usik buah tu biorrrr aje berlonggok tepi sudut huhu

Dulu, bila ibu mintak tolong kopekkan kulit rambutan, memang maleh sungguh nak buat. Sapa nak makan, dia la kopek sendiri kan?

Bila sendiri dah jadi ibu ni, automatik datang rasa nak kopekkan untuk anak dan suami. Sebab tahu sedap makan buah rambutan yang sejuk peti. Seronok tengok anak dan suami senang bukak peti terus sauk makan sendiri.

Itulah kasih seorang ibu. 

Ikhlas. Ade la sikit berkira tu. 

Ye, post ni untuk up diri aku sendiri.  

Sekian.

Cycle.

My second-born is very different from my first.
Even their teachers said the same thing!

Although we do acknowledge their differences, she at times can be quite a handful! Emotionally!

Tak boleh orang silap cakap sikit. Tak boleh orang naik suara sikit.
Walaupun originally it was her who caused the commotion at the first place.

Her usual respond after being 'hurt' will always be - hentak kaki, tarik muka, nanges tak tentu pasal, kunci diri dalam bilik, tarik muka, and  many others.

Penat tau?
Dan haruslah aku takde daya dan kuasa nak melayan.

Thank God for the husband. Dialah yang akan jadi tukang pujuk-layan-tanya and settle it down. Walaupun kadangkala memang dia pun maleh nak pujuk dibiorkan aje kasi cool down katanya pfft

------------------------------------------

My husband and I had a little fight last night.

I don't know whether he purposely raised his voice to me or it was done unintentionally.
But, damaged has been done. My 'heart' was feeling hurt a bit. Still. Orang tengah syiok-syiok sembang tetiba naik suara dah kenapa pfft

And, this morning, he (as usual) apologizes first and tries to break the ice.
I am still quite mad. Hence the long face while making breakfast and all.

And before he's off, we will always kiss and cuddle. And me, being me, stiff as a log.

Then it hits me,
"Does my second-born got her kuat-merajuk-perangai from me?" or "Does she gets the perangai from observing me and her father?"

Jarang jugak aku buat perangai merajuk lama ni. Kebetulan tengah period, so lagi melayan laa si emosi.

Rugi tau merajuk lama-lama?
Nanti rindu, sapa jugak yang padan muka?? Pfft.

Post Ramadhan Food Fest!

This year, our Syawal weekends have been so fully occupied with eating, catching up with cousins and friends, even weddings!

Syiok oh! Even the kids had fun playing with their cousins and even made new friends. Got duit raya is also a big plus! hehe alhamdulillah :)

So, today's schedule was also packed even we were quite lewau from yesterday's raya trip Somban-Sikamat-Springhill-Bangi *phew* 

Suddenly, my 7 yrs old asked,

"Ibu, bile nak makan? Hannan lapar lah..."

Ah sudah. Aku punya laa ingat semua orang dah kenyang pulun melantak. I forgot that this girl didnt eat as much as her sister, banyak minum ayor saje hence the '...bila nak makan' question.

"Kenapa tak cakap awal-awal nak makan? Sekarang kan dah lewat, dah masa tido. Kalau cakap awal-awal kan senang..." balas ibu yang dah penat baru lepas siap kemas kitchen and all.

"Takpelah ibu, kalau ibu penat takpelah. Hannan tak lapar sangat pun..."

Arghhhh demmmm!

Sampai hati aku marah si anak yang mintak makan. Bila dia tak makan, ko marah. Bila dia minta makan pun kena marah jugak. Apa yang ko nak sebenarnya wahai si emak?!

Bukan dia mintak nasi ayam pun. Takde pun dia demand mintak ko masak nasi malam-malam ni. Heck, dia tu kalau bagi roti sapu coklat pun jalan. Dia cuma nak mak dia siapkan saje. Ape yang susah sangat pun? Yang ko maleh sangat tu dah kenapa wahai si emakkkkkk?!

Never mother of the year.
But trying to be better day by day.

Semoga Allah panjangkan nikmat sihat dan bahagia kami sekeluarga.
Semoga Allah tambah rahmat dan kuatkan sabar saya dalam menjaga dan menguruskan rahmat dunia pinjaman sementara ini ameeeen!

7 days in-ward experience

"Anak manja ni... tak boleh sakit sikit..."

"Anak saya, kalau batuk selsema tak pernah bagi ubat pun. Cukup sapu vicks saja ke dada & belakang dia..."

"Jangan bawak anak tu keluar... duduk je dalam rumah diam-diam..."

*     *     *     *     *

Macam laa aku tak sapu vicks ke badan Umar...
Macam laa aku tak bagi dia main kotor, biasakan dengan orang...
Macam laa aku ni dok bersin selamba depan anak tak reti nak hadang...
(-_-")

Rezeki setiap anak berbeza-beza...
Waktu Sarah Hannan dulu, alhamdulillah boleh pinjam bibik ibu buat bawak balik PD sampai depa dah 3 tahun lebih baru hantar ke taska...

Sampai si Umar, lepas pantang terus ibu hantar ke taska masuk sekolah...
Kasihan juga, tapi sebab tak selesa nak hantar dia ke rumah jiran yang tak berapa kenal dan agak selesa dengan pengurusan taska yang confirm takde yang merokok dan lain-lain
... ibu tinggalkan Umar dalam jagaan teacher dengan harapan Allah jaga awak, Allah jaga kita semua.

Dan harapannya, selepas pengalaman warded minggu lepas, Umar Haziq akan jadi lebih kuat dan kita semua akan lebih sejahtera hendaknya ameeen!

Mujur Allah bagi peluang guna insuran syarikat suami. Agak selesa juga walaupun 7 hari berkampung di hospital :)

Bukit Batu Putih - checked!

Tanjung Tuan, Port Dickson-Melaka. 

* * * * * 

Kena datang lagi dengan the whole (family) crew!

Bukit Sawa - checked!

 January 10, 2018 - Kampung Peradong, Kuala Kelawang, Jelebu.

 * * * * * 

Semacam tak percaya. 

Tapi ianya berlaku jua.

Macam-macam halangan.

Takde kawan laa. Takde siapa nak saing dari PD laa. Takut laa. 

Yang paling best,

dah sampai meeting point boleh pulak aku perasan yang kasut tertinggal kat rumah! (-_-")

Guide siap perli aku,

"Kalau tersadung, pandai2 laa bangkit ye?"

Tapi sebab Allah sayang, 

I was among the first 3 yang sampai atas!

Walaupun terlepas awan karpet, but the view was still stunning nonetheless!

Hilang penat yang aku dok meroyan dari mula hike bila sampai atas! 

Hiking was not part of my new year resolution. 

But I vow to try my hands on living healthier, dan tak sangka Bukit Sawa was my first chance to prove to myself that I can still do it. I still have it! 

Looking forward for more! Bring it ON! ;)

So, how was your first day at school?

"Boleh laaa..." (>_<)

 

Alhamdulillah, he survived his first day at the nursery! But it's more like the mother who's on trial though. *haha*
Yelah, he's been with me since day 1. I'm not saying that his sisters were not, tapi dulu we can afford to 'borrow' my mom's helper. So, memang rase senang sangat jaga anak, rupanya haaa... baru kau tahu!

Mana nak masak, nak mandi, nak rest pun dok teringat-ingat terngiang-ngiang suara nangeh dia aduh!

I'm going to resume working next week. Hoping that everything goes well, despite being left alone with the kids while their father's off to China for a week!

Pray for my sanity.

Three three :)

Selamat Hari Lahir kekasih hati

My chill pill, My serenity

Tanpa mu jiwa ini gusar sendiri

Bersamamu diri ini kuat mandiri

Terima kasih atas lamaran

Terima kasih kerana memulakan

Kerana jika kamu tidak mahu

Mungkin aku tidak kenal erti cinta yang sebegini syahdu

Terima kasih Allah.

Jangan putus limpahan rahmat-Mu  pada ku.

Reality

My belly after my 2nd c-sect day 48. 

Let this be a reminder to my husband, of what he had done to me. 

Of what I have given him. Of what we have acheive together as husband and wife. 

3 beautiful children. To raise and to love. 

Together. 

Let this be a reminder to my children, that this is the belly that they were once in. 

Which they grew in for 9 months. Scratch marks and all.

Despite the late nights, and uncountable cries. 

There’s nothing I would trade them for.

Let this be a reminder to me, that healing takes time.

And its OK to take our time. 

Slowly but surely. 

Insyaallah. 

Ameen. 

Kena tinggal lagi.

And now, dia dapat pegi China pulak.
OK fine, kena pegi China. Work trip.
Lucky him.

I can do this. I have to do this.

*googling overseas conferences to attend*

Awak suka saya tak? *wink*

Kemarin,
Kari Ikan Tenggiri. Sedap.

Semalam,
Ikan Singgang Tenggiri. Sedap jugak.

Hari ni,
Sup Daging with white noodle.

Amboi. Sakan nampak?
Itu pun sebab Umar layan tidoq and barang semua ada dirumah hehe

I'm kinda enjoying this role of staying-at-home mom.

OK, nak layan Iman jap. Bai!

Post Delivery Emo Entry 2

Day 32.

I went all raged towards the hubs just now.
OK. Takdelah marah sangat. Or is it?
The thing is, I'm not sure whether is it really him or I was actually angry with myself.

Both, I guess.

When I knew that I was pregnant, I was not at all happy nor am I sad.
Mixed feelings felt inside.

Yelah. It has been 6 six years. Both Sarah Hannan are all grown up. Dah senang dibela. Dah seronok dibuat kawan. Tidur nyenyak. Makan kenyang. Jalan selesa.

Tuptap mengandung balik. Morning sickness balik. Tapi kali ni lain macam pembawakannya.

Makan tak lalu. Tapi lapar.
Badan penat. Gassy tak tentu masa, tak tentu pasal.

And when its finally time to deliver, sakit contraction sakit operation ya ampunnnn!
Ni even though a month after, perut ni still sakit rasa lebam didalam. Ntah sembuh ke idak dalam tuhan jelaa yang tahu.

Tapi, dalam-dalam aku belum sihat, masih dalam pantang, bulih lagi nak pi masuk lari laa, nak jogging la sebab tak lama lagi nak lari 21km...

Aku dah pesan lama dari sebelum beranak, that I need him to be with me, so no marathon running whatsoever before delivery until after confinement.

Ni dak, waktu 9 months pun ade lagi join lari. Takpe, alhamdulillah masih kuat dan takde beranak waktu dia join lari tu.

Ni pulak, right after my confinement, ade masuk HSN. So, kena laa prepare fizikal nak kena keluar jogging petang or whenever he can.

Masalah kat sini, aku tak habes pantang lagi. Memang laa nampak kuat dah bulih buat semua kerja-kerja rumah sendiri. Tapi, I need him. Physically and mentally there for me.

Kadang, rase macam aku pulak yang salah. Tak bagi dia keluar. Tak bagi dia jogging atau buat aktiviti dia macam biasa. Bukan dia yang pantang. Buat apa dia yang kena duduk merap kat rumah kan??

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I think I need to find something to indulge in after this. After confinement. After I'm healthy and fit enough.

Focusing too much on work and family is stressing me.

Amboi. Macam la ko tu perfect housewife sangat pfft!

That's not the point.

If the hubs has his maraton thingy, I would want to try and get back to my kayaking activities.
Contoh laa, contohhhh.

Habis, siapa nak jaga Umar?
Haih, bapak dia kan ada?

Reti ke bapak dia nak jaga?
Haih, bukan anak orang lain. Anak dia jugak kan?

This is not me trying to get back at him. OK, mungkin laa ade sikit.

But, I believe treating myself well will benefit the family as well.
Happy wife/mother will leads to happy life, kan?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love my husband and the kids. So much.
However, I need to love myself too. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This feeling might disperse once I'm back to work.
Almaklumlah, orang dah biasa koje. Tuptap kena dok ghomah ngadap anak saje.
Quite a turnover. Hormonal imbalance.

Blame it on everything but myself is easier, kan?
Hmmm.

Or probably I'm just hungry.
Yes, that might be it.

Post Delivery Emo Entry 1

At times,
I felt so helpless.

Like now. During my confinement period.

Dah la ibu takde, tak balik laei dari hajj. Adik-adik pula busy, weekend baru masing-masing dapat balik and hands-on with the baby.

And not long after week 2 of confinement, dah ikut the husband and kids balik rumah. Since kalau stay pun takde sape dapat jaga. And my mom, even though will be coming back soon, is not in good health coughing and all-- takkan nak susahkan ibu pulak kan?

Sedih sungguh rasanya dihati.
Macam takde sape yang sayang. Macam dah takde yang amek peduli. Sobs.

Sungguh tak bersyukur aku ni.

The hubs spent 10k for Umar's delivery. Just so that a female doc could attend to me. And we have a private room so that the whole family could stay with me in the ward. He even paid for a confinement lady service--- sehari 125 tau?

He also applied for a 2-weeks leave--- just to make sure I'm well taken care of.

Kau nak meghoyan apa lagi pompuan??

Tapi yelah. Dah nama pun pompuan. Baru lepas beranak pulak tu. Hormon hilang kestabilan. Pulak perangai manja ya ampun kata rockers poyo je lebih huhu

Aku tak bulih dah nak compare dengan waktu berpantang Sarah Hannan dulu.

Itu rejeki awal dulu. Ibu dapat jaga bersungguh. Ade bibik laei bulih belekkan si anak sampai pinjam bawak balik la haa.

Sekarang, ujiannya berbeza untuk anak nombe tiga.

Allah uji sebab Dia tahu kami mampu. Dia tahu aku mampu. Dia tahu kami lebih kuat dari dahulu.

Semoga Allah teruskan limpahan rezeki sehat dan kuat padaku, supaya dapat aku jaga keluarga kecilku ini ameeen!

My 2rd Delivery Experience

It was 7:30 am when I first experience the consistent contractions.
Waktu tu tengah sidai kain. The kids and hubs baru je berlepas keluar dari rumah ke sekolah/tempat kerja. Sakit datang on/off, aku abaikan lagi since kadang-kadang memang ade rase sakit-sakit ngilu gitu sebelum ni.

Until 8 am, baru aku call the hubs and told him about the pain.

"So, kita nak kena pergi hospital dah ke?" he asked. 

He was still at the girls' school. Not yet at the office. But I said,

"Takyah lagi kot. Tunggu sikit lagi..."

When it's 8:30 am, I sensed something was wrong. Swap my vagy with a tissue, spotted a red blood spot on it. And so everything became so real from that time onwards.

Called husband to come back home. And in the meantime, I bathed-ate-clean around the house while the contractions was every 5 minutes. I even packed myself biscuits and apples-- just in case I'm hungry while waiting for labour. Pengalaman lalu mengajar ku, having a full stomach is important to make sure I have enough energy to push later.

Arrived at the hospital around 10:30 am. Still relaxed yet gripping on anything near when the contractions became more and more painful every 2-3 minutes. The midwife confirmed my contractions and I had dilated around 5 cm. 

Even so, they had this worried face on them. Something about "... saya dah check bukaan dia doktor, tapi takde rasa kepala."

Ah sudah. Anak aku patah balik pusing tak jadik nak keluar ke??

Dr Yang came at 11:45 am to confirm the nurses' worries. After she introduces herself, she, without hesitation, came forward and pushed me on the inside until my water broke. It turned out baby dah berak and his heart beat has gotten non-reactive so off I went for a c-sect.

It was quite hectic. Nurses pushing me in the bed-trolley, getting me to switch-slide onto the operation bed, the doctor yelled at the nurses for being inconsiderate while handling me (thank you Dr!)

I can't remember much about the surgery, cuma in the middle of the operation I felt someone holding my hand and I assume its my husband because I can't really tell with the drugs and all hahaha

Cuma what concerned me was, when husband told me that the doctor actually pull out my rahim and put on my stomach (to locate the fibroid) and actually put it back in woahhhh I think that's why my it felt so bad down there despite me having the experience of c-sect before.

Sebelum ni, I did have this guilty feeling of wanting to opt for a c-sect instead of a normal vaginal delivery. But now, after this gruesome experience, I don't even want to experience pregnancy again. Sakit lah! ;"(

Geng Abah is Here!

 He decided to be a Nismilan descendant, unlike his 08 sisters 

*hehe*

I looked like a messy witch, I know that!

But still, a picture with my boy on his Day 1 in this world.

Will blog about the delivery process soon.

Takit angat huuuuuuu (T_T)