sudah lama aku tidak mengulaw...

pi oh. aku mengantuk.
hari ini aku sungguh mengantok (--")

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went back to Perak last weekend to attend my cousin's wedding. we started the journey back late since my driver had to 'o.t' until late evening. better late than not going back kan? ;)

i lurrve weddings! the colours, the foods, the people... especially the people! makcho & pak lop, paklang & wa'am, pak ude & mak ude, pakndak & makndak, yachu & mak usu, opah... u named it! and i especially love to see my crazy cousins and cute nephews plus ADORABLE nieces...

arissa yang comel.... maisarah yang bulat.... azmeer yang sengal... eii. gerem!

lama tak sembang ngan ibu.... i mean, sembang yang best... tengok ibu senyum, ibu gelak... and ibu selalu gelak when muaz is around.... and sometime i am jeles when he manages to make her smile...

ayah plak... suke bebenor menayang anak jantan sulong dia tuh ke sana ke mari... bengang pulak aku when he asked muaz to escort him to all these rumah terbuka, instead of him (my husband) stay at home with me & us ladies... tapi yelaa, ayah dah lama mau-kan anak lelaki. so, for somebody who never wins, i am glad that he has muaz to back-him-up for anything (eventho they will still lose competing with us girls ^_~)

and aisyah, she is no longer shy-shy with muaz. udah berani mintak didukung, mau disuap makan.... dah boley terima hakikat that she now has a brother to lean on... which is sweet ;)

i called her last night. and she said

"ayong, jangan tido dekat-dekat dengan abang muaz tau? nanti badan gatal2..."

hahahahahhahahahahhahahha (gelak guling2)

*******

kematian.
one of the students died in a car accident. she was taken away on-the-spot, leaving the others comma, leg-broken, stiches everywhere... kata kak tyi, "jalan itu dahagakan darah". kecut gak. pasal i am using the road to go to work. pergi & balek.

Ema was the driver. died. got no driving license. the car was her boyfriend's. the car was without roadtax. that night, he was being bashed by the brother who blamed him for the accident. he tried to defend himself by saying that he never meant for things to happen for his dear Ema promised him that she will only be driving to a kedai makan nearby. they ended up having dinner at town. ended up meeting with a drunken driver.

visited them the next day. Emy forgot what happened, so she was not traumatized from the accident. Liza got both her arms dislocated. tears running down her cheeks. she can still hear them crying for help. Wana just woke up from her comma. her spectacle broke, injuring her eyes. she broke her leg. and her face was still bengkak from the crash. sian family dia. came all the way from Kuantan, ber-ulang Kajang-Seremban pasal they got no sedara nearby.

even so, all of them wanted to go back to college and do their finals. afraid of not finishing the semester as planned. afraid of not having loans to pay for the extra semester.

aku hanya mampu berdoa untuk kalian. dan berasa kasihan untuk kamu & keluarga kamu. terukkan kan aku?

buat sahabat ku syima & firah....
aku hanya mampu ucapkan takziah. terkejut dapat tahu tentang berita hitam itu. maaf, tak berada disitu. maaf, tak tahu nak ucapkan apa-apa untuk senangkan hati kamu. maaf, kerana hanya mampu berdoa agar kamu dikuatkan semangat untuk meneruskan kehidupan.

semua orang akan mati. tak kira berapa teror ko work-out kat gym pon, kalo dah tertules kate ko akan mati jatuh longkang, mati gak.

aku takut mati. aku tau ibu & ayah pon akan mati. aku takut bile tiba saat itu. takut tak dapat sembang ngan dorang laei, takut tak dapat balek and seeing them cosy-ing around in front of the tv, takot tak dapat pelok gomol2 ngan aisyah, takot tak dapat tengok mata redup suami....

ALLAH MAHA KUASA. aku doa kite suma mati dalam iman.

*ameeen*

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aku rase aku lonely, ade orang yang lagi sepi dari aku...
aku rase aku malang, ade orang yang lagi malang dari aku...
aku rase aku kecewa ngan dunia, ade orang yang lagi bengang dari aku...

kite selalu tak bersyukur kan?