The Not So Happy Trip To The Dentist

Been a hectic week. 

Finally got the chance to bring my boy to the dentist. And had been prepping him since last week, 

“Kita nak pegi dentist, OK? We want doctor to check your teeth!” 

“My teeth got germs? Doctor wants to brush my teeth?”

And when it was finally the day, we went up the stairs and he’s still in a good mood. 

… that is until the doctor asked him to open his mouth. And when he saw the blunt-but-looks-sharp tools on the dentist’s hand, “Tapi nanti ade blood!” he screamed! 

Mind you, his hand was also on his chest, saying aloud “MY HEART DUPDAPDUPDAP!”

This was not his first rodeo. And he also got 2 baby tooth pulled out by the same doctor! 

Tapi tulah, today was not the day. 

I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t sad. And annoyed. And frustrated.

Because I hope to checked this one out from the list. 

Tapi tulah, today was just not the day. 

Bismillah. Bantuin aku ya Allah! 

Men. At times.

Bila kau nk diskusi tapi suami kau hati kering be like: 

“Insyaallah. Usaha, doa, tawakkal.”

Habis diskusi. 😅

And by the way, kakak Sarah got into M*RSM gais! 

All praise to Allah! ALHAMDULILLAHHHH 🥳

 

The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side

Went for my annual routine check-ups at the usual hospital. 

Overheard the staff complaining about no claim, difficult leave applications, bad management…

… and here I thought their so-called big and secured company are settled and organised for life. Turns out, mana-mana pun sama ja sebenarnya. 

Despite whatever, they still sabr and work with a smile :)

Alhamdulillah for the rezqi. Because all of these are not from the company, but from Allah the Almighty.

Oh hi! My first post for 2025! 

I missed this.  

Pend*sa

Lately, I’ve been doing something that I should not have done without remorse. Perhaps it’s because I know that that no one will judge me. So I keep repeating them without guilty.

I know it’s wrong. I know I should not done it. But still, I did it. 

Despite being bad, Allah never leaves me alone. He always giving. He always deliver. 

Maybe I should reward myself. 

If I’m able to not do it for 5 days straight, I should buy myself a cake. 

If I perform for the full month, I should reward myself even more.

Mengade kan? Sendiri buat salah, tak malu langsung smp nak bagi hadiah kt diri sndri laa ape laa. 

Maaf tuhan. Aku pendosa yang selalu lupa. 

Gediks.

 A small part of me wanted to be liked by everyone. Wanted to always be love. To be supported. To always be agreed with. 

But I know that it is impossible.

Because I myself do not like everyone.

At times, I'll be jealous knowing that I'm not considered important in the group. But then again, I did not return the same energy to the them. I'm happy being a loner. I like being unnoticed.

Tapi yelah, datang time mengada mintak dimanjahhh begitulahhhhhhhhh 

Mak tak cehat. Sobs.

I've been sick since last week. Coughing with mild fever. Sore throat and body fatigue. Been to the clinic twice. And had been recovering after taking the antibiotic. And the major thing is: I've been feeling gassy and bloated non stop!

Makan dah makan. Kenyang dah kenyang. Tapi bahu lenguh-lenguh minta di urut. Lepas urut baru lega dapat sedawa. Masalahnya sampai bila nak kena urut ni sebab angin tak berhenti-henti *cry*

Laki pulak cepat penat bila mintak tolong urut. Nak beli kerusi urut taktau bila. Bila badan sakit, nak tido pun tak tenang asek nak minta urut dan sedawa. Bila susah tido, kepala sakit. Bila kepala sakit, dah tak boleh nak pikir dan buat keputusan dengan baik. Semua benda kat rumah tu pulak semua ibu jugak yang nak kena pikir. Bila ibu naik suara sebab sakit kepala kena pikir benda simple, ibu jugak yang kena marah balik. 

Ini baru nak masuk 40 tau, udah tak larat deme nak layan sakit penat kita. Ibu cedey. *sobs* 

So, nak taknak, kena chin up. And remind myself that I am responsible for my own self. I am responsible for my own health. My own body. My own happiness. 

I need to be more serious in taking care of myself. Sebab memang at the end of the day, we only have ourselves to blame kalau diri sendiri tak sehat.

I knew that. But at times I still make bad choices. For I am only human. And as human, I am bound to make mistakes.

But as a human who is already reaching her 40s, I need to know my boundaries. Yes, money is important. But taking care of myself must be made a priority.

Karang Allah tarik nikmat sehat baru ang tau! Nauzubillah!

27.3.2023

Sarah dah masuk asrama gais 😂

Bukan M*RSM. Bukan S*BP. Bukan T*aayah. Bukan T*ahfiz.
Tapi S*ABK. And not so far from home alhamdulillah...

Was a bit sad, for sure. Not getting into all those listed schools. But I'm also glad.

Sebab sedih rupanya bila kakak Sarah dah masuk asrama. 

Macam hilang seri rumah tu. Tak cukup seorang.

She called the 2nd day, sobbing.

"Kakak Sarah nak masuk sekolah harian ke?"

"Nak... tapi tak boleh. Kena cuba dulu. Takde pilihan sekolah harian yang bagus..."

Kasihan dia...

Nak masuk asrama sebab nak fokus belajar, tapi nak duduk dekat dengan keluarga jugak...

Inilah namanya jihad, kakak Sarah.

Jauh dari keluarga, demi untuk mendapatkan ilmu.

Merasa susah dan tidak selesa, demi mempersiapkan diri menempuh masa depan yang lagi hebat cabarannya... 

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Dia ni dah biasa ke mana-mana berdua dengan adik dia, Hannan.

Dan ini kali pertama dia tak masuk sekolah yang sama dengan Hannan.

Maka bersedialah kakak Sarah, untuk kembali melayan kerenah Hannan yang insyaallah akan masuk jugak ke sekolah yang sama dengan awak tahun hadapan hahahahaha

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At home, Hannan automatically steps up, taking over kakak Sarah punya chores. 

Punyalah ringan tulang, semacam tak percaya begitu sekali effectnya bila kakak dia takde hahahahahahahahaha

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Tahun depan, kalau berejeki Hannan pun masuk asrama, tinggallah ibu abah dan Umar bertiga di rumah.

Oh. Lamanya nak tunggu giliran Umar pulak masuk asrama. Lambat lagi laa nak merasa dating berdua saja dengan bapak depa hahahahahahaha