February 23, 2021

I just created an account in L*inkedln.

And suddenly had the urge to search this one uni friend of mine. The amazing Emma. 

And after all these time, she is still amazing. Even more! So proud of her. 

I still didn't know what happened between me and her. Tetibe kena unfriend. I typed a long message to her, still. No reply.

Obviously, I did not moved on. Hence the stalking LOL

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I actually envy her. Still. And a lot others. 

How they became a better version of themselves. Professionally. Could that have been me?

Can I still get this family that I have now, if I were to pursue the so-called career of mine?

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No one can predict the future. One can only plan.

February 10, 2021

 

February 9, 2021

At the KD, after almost 6 months missing Umar's appointments.

 "Wahhh... ke sana ke sini puan ye mengisahkan appointment anak ye?"

Come to think about it, yes. 

My calendar is filled with Umar's follow-up with the paeds, OT treatments and speech classes...

Alhamdulillah, his focus retention is better. More eye contact with us. A lot of role-playing developed. But even though he has not yet speaking properly, he's very good with his body language. Or it is us who are alhamdulillah able to understand his body and facial expressions which allow us to engage with him better. 

But I still think there's a lot more than I can do. That can be done. 

I know I cannot compare myself with other supermom out there. But it always hurt when I know that I can be and do better.

"But I need rest. I am tired. I need time to myself."

Said the lazy, incompetent, selfish, stupid mother to herself. 

February 8, 2021

 Done with October classes and markings and all. YAY!

"Salam puan, dah boleh standby untuk kelas Mac ye?" 

Party pooper. Pfft!