Everything happens for a reason

It's been 2 weeks since we left our precious Sarah at her granny's. and every time anyone brought out her name, it got tears in my eyes.

the sole reason why we left her, was to train her Acik Ajah since her nanny is going back for good. her father and i make ourselves believe that it is best for her to be in the hands of family, rather than outsiders. what more, her sister will be coming out soon.

dari ipoh, sampai la ke rawang, i cant stop crying. susah hati. kalih kepala to the back seat, teringat Sarah yang selalunya akan terbongkang tdoq kat belakang. sampai rumah, nanges lagi. teringat Ummu Sarah yang selalunya akan berdiri di sliding door, tunggu ibu balik kerja. and bila nak tido, teringat Ummu Sarah yang selalunya akan merap mahu ditepuk dodoi sampai mamai...

*and obviously i'm in tears while typing this entry*

aduh. aku tak kuat.

~~~~~

day 1 after we left her, i went for my monthly checkup with the K-KPP. i've officially entered my 3rd trimester. however, i have this condition called Placenta Praevia, type 2, yang mana cik Uri yang sepatutnya berada di atas, terletak dibahagian bawah dan menutupi sebahagian dari ruang pintu rahim. the doctor, wanting to be sure ordered me to be warded A.S.A.P for there are a lot of complications once you are diagnosed with such condition.

aku sebenarnya sudah aware of the location of the placenta since my 5months. even the doctor pun dh btau, kalo dah masuk 7bulan tapi uri maseh lagi dibawah, hospital gomen akan tahan ko dok dalam wad sampai: a) uri ko naik balik. b) sampai ko bersalin.

gila kau? koje banyak lagi tak siap, final question paper to be submitted etc etc.

scary duh.
aku pegi K-PJ, to get 2nd opinion from my other Gyno. and yes, he agreed with the doctor's diagnosis. he, however, manage to make me feel a little bit happy for he said that i can still go to work as usual provided that i did not push myself too much. no stairs climbing, no heavy lifting, no fast walking. and no 'intimacy' with the husband. kasihan. hahahahaha ^___^"

if any bleeding of fresh blood happens, i need to go to the hospital A.S.A.P. till then, just take care of myself until my 30weeks for further checkup.

see?
there are reasons for everything. tuhan bukan saje2 nak uji kau, pisahkan kau dengan si manja. tapi tuhan mahu kau berehat, beri masa untuk diri sendiri dan adik Sarah.

aku redha.
ade kemungkinan adik Sarah akan dilahirkan melalui pembedahan. cuma aku berdoa agar adik Sarah lahirnya matang, selepas 9bulan. bukan sebelumnya.

tolong doakan kami sama ya? untuk kakak Sarah juga :)

Take a break~

It is Ira's time of the month (to get serviced).
Ira who? My car, Proton Wira. I have the tendency to name every cars owned by my dad. Like my sister's Elis & my former beau Iskandar. dont ask me why ;p

anyway, since she's not available, i've opted to carpool with a colleague. and since her husband was the driver, i prefer to just enjoy the ride instead of being the usual me- chitchatting like its nobody's business!

its been awhile since i last sat at the back as a passenger, rather than the driver.
its comforting to look at the blue sky and admiring the white clouds. the green scenery really complements the whole picture. tu belom nampak nampak burung-burung terbang berkicauan. *heh*

it was then i realised, that sometimes you need to take a break from life and admires the beauty around you.

when you are too occupied with something (e.g work, boring daily routine) you tend to mislook the small things in life that used to make you smile. that used to make you happy. you ignore your likings towards nature, substitutes your passion for reading with watching stupid reality shows on tv, keeping time only to yourself rather than spending it with family and friends...

i am describing myself though. loving outdoors especially kayaking, but ended up spending my weekends laying flat on my back in front of the tv, even though the beach is just like 5mins away. enjoys splurging money on books but they ended up being kept at God-knows-where.

tak boleh macam tu.
hidup ni bukan untuk kerja semata. sungguhpun bekerja untuk duit, tapi ape guna duit kalau tidak digunakan sebaiknya. apa guna duit kalau masa untuk diri sendiri tidak terjaga.

everyone deserves a break. i know i do :)

in denial.

Situasi 1:
Di pasaraya ‘gergasi’.

Lelaki: Tumpang lalu, tumpang lalu.
Aku: (dengan baik hatinya member laluan kepada pekerja pasaraya itu menolak troli barang)
Lelaki: Terima kasih makcik!
Aku: *Makcik?*

Situasi 2:
Maseh di pasaraya yang sama.

Perempuan: Puan ada kad G*ant?
Aku: Takde.

*Tibe2 laki aku interframe mintak dukungkan Sarah sekejap.

Perempuan: Semuanya RM****, makcik.
Aku: *Makcik??*

Kedua-dua lelaki & perempuan di situasi diatas memang aku tak tipu komfem lagi TUA dari aku? Tapi pasai pa I was the one being called as ‘makcik’???

Yes, I know I’ll be 27 this coming Nov but still... (-_-“)

~~~~~

A friend tagged me in one of her photos of us together.

… and I have to admit. I do look OLD in the picture. Oh!

Is it because of my dressing? Or my choice of scarf? Blamed it on my new full-framed glasses, no?

Sedikit down. (-_-“)

Aku tau aku tak lawa. Tapi aku tak pernah pikir yang aku ni tak comel. *Punya laa high self-esteem*

Should I start putting on make-ups?

– no. I’m just too stingy to splurge money on something I rarely use.

Or change my style of wearing the hijab?
– no. I’m too lazy to belit2 kepala dgn all those current style punye selendang.

Ngadu dekat encik suami. Dengan harapan dia akan memuji, senangkan ati bini.

He said,

“Tulaa, orang dah lama tak ngaji macam tu la. Hilang nur kat muka. Tengok macam saye ni, berseri-seri je.”

ceh.